Something has been on my mind the past few weeks as I’ve been working with a few client’s on body image issues, and even more so in the past week. It is how truly amazing we are in every way. And none of us hear it enough, all we ever hear is how we aren’t “enough” in some way. We aren’t skinny enough. Or aren’t muscular enough. We aren’t rich enough. And that we aren’t eating healthy enough.
Well, I already know I’m not enough and I’m tired of the reminders. I know I don’t have enough time in the day to do everything, so things don’t get done. Despite trying, I know I’m not always enough in the right way for my kids, they don’t have the latest and greatest. I know I’m not Super Mom, nor do I try to be. They’re happy and loved, and at the end of the day that’s all that matters to me.
What’s Helped
Here’s the thing. I’ve stopped trying to be it all, I’ve stopped trying to be enough in the way that I’m supposedly supposed to be. Because honestly it’s exhausting and I’d rather be playing with the kids and spending time with them. Or even taking care of myself and my family’s self-care. As a result, I’ve stopped worrying about being enough.
Another thing I have done is instead of being hard on myself about how I look or what I eat since I know that doesn’t match up to what society expects, I instead have changed my focus and thinking to being how amazing my abilities are. It is amazing that somehow when my kids need it most, I’m able to carry a 4 year old and 2 year old at the same time. It’s amazing how I am strong enough to do that. My body is amazing in that the kids are always comfy when snuggled into me, bonus is I’m comfy too. My cooking is amazing and it meets the needs of my family. And in those way’s, I am amazing.
What About The Amazing You
So how are you amazing? What is a positive to something that society would say that you aren’t “enough” in? Eating healthy? Weight? Clothes? Job? Living situation? There are so many ways, but what is the positive in it all? How about, you are able to make ends meet. Or, you are able to meet the needs of yourself, or your family. It’s something small that starts to change your thinking. And as you get better at changing the smaller things, the bigger picture starts to come into focus. It becomes easier to see how amazing you are. How amazing we all are.
If you listen to your body, which does take practice if you aren’t used to it, you’ll learn that your body knows what it needs and does try to tell you. It’s a hard thing to do when you are constantly taught in so many different ways not to listen to your body. And the same with your brain. Our brains are so amazing that if we get out of the way, it knows what it needs. Meditation is a great way to start learning how to listen to your body and your brain on a whole new level.
One More Thought
I have one extra little challenge for you all. This is something that I have used in therapy and with myself, just to get to the greater philosophical thoughts about how we look. I’ve seen memes about it too. But what is the reason that the beautiful women in all the paintings, sculpture, and various forms of art in the museums have curves and extra body weight? Who changed that to needing to be skinny in some way? Who looks happier, who appears to feel happier? What makes you happy and why is it bad to feel happy and confident in who you are as a person?
Let me tell you a secret, it’s not bad. And I know I make it all sound so easy. It gets easier with time, I’ve just had a lot of reflection on this for quite a while now. A second secret, I still struggle with this some days too. Everyone does, but it gets easier with time, grace, and love. We are amazing. Let’s turn our focus to that and see how life changes for the better.
You Are Amazing.
